Refinding My Spark

“Character can not be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can a soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

-Helen Keller

A Brief Background:

I must be the happiest I have ever been in my life, why? My house is the cleanest it has ever been! I finally feel like I am worth something and I want my house to reflect that. The more extra “for me” activities I do, the less I mind doing the things that I need to do. My husband is the main bread-winner of the family, he makes twice as much as I do and on top of that has two other businesses that he runs from home. One of which is day trading both the world market and cryptocurency. Any time he has a big win, James will come celebrate with me. Of course I am always happy for him but part of me is always green with envy at his success. For the longest time this made me feel very inadequate. James would always encourage me to find my own source of extra income, my own business if you will, but I resisted saying that between my day job and my chores at home, I just didn’t have time.

Then I heard about freelance writing. I LOVE to write! I have always been a writer but since a college professor told me that very rarely are people able to market their writing talents, I would be better off just writing for myself. My professor was an editor so I figured she would be an authority on the subject so her words cut so deeply that I felt like the creative part of my soul was ripped out. I just never felt the same about my work after that. Sure I wrote here and there, a little poetry, some journal writing, but I didn’t see the point because why write if I can’t share it with the world. I went into a creative depression and eventually quit writing.

“Some people dream of success while other people get up every morning and make it happen”

-Wayne Huizenga

Back To The Present:

Two years ago, I was fortunate enough to have married the most wonderfully supportive yet pushy man I have ever met. He has always pushed me to better myself and gave me his full support in whatever I chose to do, as long as I do something. I stopped writing about the time that I met him so he never really knew me as a writer but when I brought up that I was picking it up again, he talked to me like I was going to be famous one day. He doesn’t ever say it in a way that puts pressure on me, but he talks like it’s just an inevitability. Like one day I’ll have a best seller and because of his faith in me, I want nothing more in the world than to please him and make it happen.

I started reading blogs and listening to podcasts featuring some of my favorite authors and their processes for inspiration and direction for my own goals. Once a step by step process came into place, I began to understand that all my childhood dream needed too become a reality, was someone to follow the steps so clearly laid out. So here I am now, writing and poetry to ease my soul, working on a novel with intent to publish and sharing my words with the masses and it feels right. I feel like this is who I am meant to be. My creative soul has been revived! It only took 10 years.

To The Point:

I should have never let that teacher destroy me in that way. There is a plethora of masses out there waiting in line to tell you in detail why you can’t. Their words mean nothing without your belief in them. After living this story, one thing I learned that has stuck and is branching out into all areas of my life is that not everyone is going to like you, some people are going to see your particular brand of zest and hate you for it. I decided that if they are going to put me down and dislike me, I’ll give them a reason to. I will make them hate me because they are jealous because I am making my dreams a reality in a way that they wish they could.

I am bettering myself in a way that they wish they could and I am happy. The right people will love me and support me as I will love and support them. Those who are inclined toward jealousy can come find me when they decide it’s time to take charge of their lives. When they are ready to love and support themselves and accept the love and support of others instead of hating people for bettering themselves, they can come find me. Those people are my tribe.


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