According to, one of the most common toxic behaviors is jealousy.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17

Merriam Webster defines “covet” as ” to desire (what belongs to another)” in other words, to be jealous of. Jealousy is toxic. It makes a person think and do toxic things.

Because you can’t be happy for someone if you’re jealous of who they are or what they have. You can’t be happy with yourself or what you have if you’re focused on what you don’t have.

Jealousy eats away at a person. It can destroy your finances, your self-esteem and drive a wedge between you and anyone you know. The more you allow jealousy to seep into your life, the more unhappy your life will be.   

How do you combat jealousy? Todays culture is very “this is just the way I am”, but more and more research is taking away the credibility of the idea that we are fixed beings with no real way to change. More and more research is validating the idea of neuroplasticity. You are in charge of your brain. You are in charge of your thoughts and you are in charge of your emotions. Even if you don’t want to be. 

In order to change, you must first accept and learn to recognise the feeling of jealousy in yourself. You must notice the jealous thoughts and make the conscious decision to not act on them. 

You can ask yourself, “is this really what I want for my life?” and if the answer is no, decide what you do want your life to look like. 

Redirect your focus. Instead of being jealous of your friend for her beautiful new car, admire her for the hard work she put into saving up for that new car. 

Turn your jealousy into drive. If someone elses life looks better to you than your own, maybe it’s time to make some changes to make your life better suited to your desires. 

Accept that everyone is different. No one is necessarily better than anyone else, everyone is simply on a different path and in a different place and that is OK. As long as you are able to make yourself happy with who you are and what you have, your life is successful. 

God Bless


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