Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

My life does not follow your rules. Just as your life does not follow my rules. So much money is made off of creating programs that one follows step by step to the letter to achieve a one desired outcome.

If I follow your program for happiness, for health, for healing and it Just doesn’t work for me, that means that there is something wrong with me right? This program has helped all of these people so there must be Some stock in it right? Obviously, it works right? well, it didn’t work for me, SO I must be broken right? Or is the program broken? It can’t be me.

Why does it have to be broken? Why do we have to be broken? Why does your life have to follow my rules? It doesn’t. In fact, it can’t.

The idea that my life has to fit in your box or that your life has to fit in my box is unrealistic insanity. That’s why there are so many programs out there and why most of them are SO different.

This isn’t a bad thing though! They all carry some credibility or they wouldn’t have made it as far as they have.

The problem is, you are not a type, You do not fit into someone else’s box.

In Jeremiah I:5, The Lord Says to Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, Before you were born, I set you apart…” Not one of us is the same, we are set apart by God and cheated as individuals. Individuals who have their own lives, their own experiences, their own minds which were “ … fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Psalm 139: 14 NIV).

All of these different mollies and formulas for a healthy and happy life are proof of that fact. These differences are not a curse, but a blessing to use to find what works for you as an individual find what fits in your life and what doesn’t.

Life is not one Size fits all. One of the benefits of marrying someone who is your polar opposite has taught me that beyond a shadow of a doubt. He hits burnout when he has too much to do, I hit burnout when I don’t have enough to do. What works for me, what helps me is not going to work for him and vice versa. The more you research and toy, the more you find what works and what doesn’t and the closer you are to living life as God intended.

Let go of what you think you know and allow God to show you what he intended for you.

Good Luck, God Bless

Advertisements

Authentic

So yesterday I went out and got my hair done for the first time in over five years. I found a look that I liked and that would go well with the type of hair I have and went with It. Face framing, layers, the whole 9 yards.

The stylist couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful and strong and healthy my hair was!

Now I, like most women, have a love, hate relationship with my hair. Sometimes it wants to be straight sometimes it wants to be wavy, sometimes it’s curly and It’s ALWAYS frizzy.

When my hair cooperates, I adore it but most of the time. I want to rip it out at the roots. Hearing a professional gush over my hair like this left me beaming and for the most part, I felt like She was being honest because she didn’t try to sell me six million products.

What she did do was ask me what I did to make my hair so healthy. She asked me what products I used because her hair was a lot like mine and she wanted to grow it out and be as healthy as possible.

You should  have Seen her face when I told her I really don’t use anything. I have a frizz oil and leave in conditioner and that’s it. What I don’t do is blow dry, I barely use heat of any kind, and I find shampoo that’s as chemical free as possible.

Later in that night, my husband and I went out with a few friends to play pool at the local bar. We played people we have never met and made some new friends.

A few of the girls told me how pretty I looked (probably the new hair cut) and asked how I got my makeup to look so natural. I don’t wear makeup.

Things like this don’t happen to me very often so when they do, I ponder them very deeply in the shower.

I didn’t do anything different with my physical appearance (other than a haircut) so why where people complimenting me like this? That is definitely not a normal occurrence for me.

The only answer that I can come up with is that I focus more on the health of my body over the physical appearance of it and tonight I owned it. I was confident In myself and who I want to be so I didn’t pay attention to what I thought people might be thinking.

I smiled and laughed and allowed myself to be carried away by the mood of the moment instead of wondering whether or not I looked like a fool. I didn’t care if I looked like a fool as long as I was having fun, which I did- I had a blast.

We stayed out until 3:30AM (my normal bed time, even on weekends is around 9).

It was one of the funnest nights I can remember and hopefully there will be many More like this.

My introverted ass can still have fun meeting new people.

Whatever your bliss, follow it. People are attracted to confidence over appearance. Own who you are and own what you love because if you don’t, no one will. The people around you are far to wrapped up in their own insecurities to be nit picking you the way you nit pick yourself so fake it till you make it darling.

Good luck and God Bless

Beautifully You

10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 1:10-11 ESV

Each one of us is unique. Each one of us is different. Each one of us is special. We know it in our minds but do our hearts know it as well? There are so may out there who project this confidence in themselves yet when an individual ends up knowing more about a topic, we feel threatened that they know more than we do. Often, we get agitated and irritated that we do not know more than this person about a topic that we really aren’t all that passionate about. This topic is not where we are gifted, yet still, we desire to seem to know more than we do. Why?”As each has received a gift,”

  • You have unique to you gifts

Everyone is gifted in some way, in something. You have unique to you strengths that your friend, mother, sister, brother, father, might not have. Your gift is meant to compliment not to compete. If we all where to stick to what we knew, be humble enough to learn what we don’t, and step aside when we are in over our heads, our world would look much different. Our world would run like a well oiled machine because we’re all honest with ourselves about what we want and what we know.

  • Someone else being better at something is not a bad thing

Just as you are unique, and have your own unique to you talents and gifts, so do those around you. Just as  that you have you have skills that those around you don’t have, those around you are going to have skills that you don’t. That’s ok. In fact that is a very wonderful thing. A very healthy thing for our society because if we all knew only the same thing, how would we learn and grow? The beauty of a sunset is totally different from the beauty of the first snow of the year, but one doesn’t take away from the other. Their differences make life all the more satisfying. My friend and I are both writers, but our styles are very different. She is more creative and descriptive and my writing is more factual. She is an amazing novelist and I am a poet. For years growing up in school together, I always thought my writing was no good because I didn’t write like her. I tried and I was terrible. Years later, she told me that she always wished she could write like I do and that hers is no good! Imagine that! now we use our differences to help and teach each other. Instead of being jealous of each other, we help each other create masterpieces.

  • Other people can’t make you look bad
One of the biggest things I hear where different gifts are concerned is something to the effect of "They're going to show me up" or "if I don't prove I can do what they do, it's going to make me look bad". Usually, though, the opposite is true. When someone does what they are good at, it's obvious that they're good at it right? It's clear that they know what they are doing. It's just as obvious when someone is pretending to know what they're talking about. We've all seen someone try to fake the masses and persuade people that they know what they're doing, when they clearly don't. Don't fall into that trap. Be honest about what you know and don't know, be honest about what you are good at and what you are not good at. Your honesty will open up opportunities to learn and grow new skills that can compliment your own. It will also give you the opportunity to shine and teach when you use your own unique to you gift! 

A Lesson In The Crucible

God allows to happen that which will help the most amount of people for the longest amount of time. I am beginning to see that play out in my life more and more as the years go by. When I was a child, I had to live with a terrible hurt. It was either fight to live or die starving. I had a problem with my digestive system and my doctor convinced everyone I had an eating disorder. Almost everyone but my parents believed him and told me that all of my suffering was on me. It was my fault and I’m the only one who can change that. That if I wanted it bad enough, I could eat and be healthy. These words broke my heart because I was dying and there was nothing in this world that I wanted more than to be able to eat again. To be able to play, to climb the stairs in my home without having to stop and rest halfway up. My soul shattered. Everything inside me broke, I had no will to live anymore. No will to try. Even after the hospital figured out the true issue, and fixed my insides, I was still broken.

Through time, honesty, and the unfailing support of an incredibly loving man who is now my husband, my soul was mended and I began to love life again. Though I didn’t love myself, I told myself I did. I told others that I did but truly I didn’t and I tried to prove that I did to others as a way of trying to prove it to myself. I still struggle. I fear that I am too thin. That I am weak and can’t do anything for myself, but I am changing that perception.

Ephesians 2:10 says ‘For we are God’s masterpieces, he created us anew in Jesus christ so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’

Every one of us goes through a crucible in our lives. God uses them to create us anew, to show us what we are capable of. To make us strong and ignite passion in us to do what he calls us to do, to follow his plan for our lives. Two things happen when we face a crucible; we get stuck and never allow ourselves to walk out of it, to let go and allow it to change us or we rise from the challenge. We allow ourselves to be changed. To grow and become stronger than we believe ourselves to be able to be.

A crucible ignites a passion. Mine became helping people overcome psychiatric disorders like I faced. I was told that I would need mind numbing medication to function normally for the rest of my life. I’m sure there are countless numbers of people, lost and scared and alone who are being told the same thing.

I want to challenge the world to reach for more. To break the mold and take back their lives from whatever crucible they are stuck in. Reach for the other side and find your purpose and your passion. Figuring out how to get to the other side reveals so much about who you are and where your passion is and I want to see that in this world. Honesty, creativity, deep thought, and love are seriously lacking and I believe that is why we are so stuck in depression, in anxiety, in pain. The world needs to figure out how to heal, but so many people are so stuck in their pain that they can’t even fathom finding a way out because some doctor offers them a “Cure” in the form of a pill.

Overcome your crucible. Dare to find your passion and allow it to lead your life. Learn to love and except yourself again. Trust me, it leads to a much more satisfying existence.

Philippians 4, Road Map to Happiness

Philippians 4:6-8 “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is TRUE, whatever is NOBLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is ADMIRABLE. If anything is EXCELLENT or PRAISEWORTHY, think about such things.”

This is my favorite verse and one that I am actively working into my thought life. It is literally a road map to happiness and peace. This verse is a step by step on how to make your life better, the only catch is that you have to follow it.

What does this even mean?

‘Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.”

The biggest thing here, at least in my very unprofessional opinion, is the with thanksgiving part. So many times, when we pray, it’s just asking for things. Why can’t we show God our thankfulness? Even in the darkest hour, there is always something to be grateful for. Even if its being thankful that we have a loving God to listen to our woes.

‘And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’

It is my belief that coming to Christ with a grateful heart, is the foundation to feeling the peace of God. Having a grateful heart means surrendering to the will of God and the fact that there are things out of your control. It shows that you can see the good things in your life and you are doing more than asking for stuff like a spoiled child. Being thankful when we come to Christ in prayer makes your time with God feel more genuine and completely changes the tone of your prayer.

‘Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things’

Sooo, what are you thinking about? Is what you’re thinking about the truth? Are your thoughts noble? Are you looking at the situation in the right mindset? Do you focus on what is pure? Do you think about lovely things? Do you focus on what makes you admirable? Would you consider what goes through your head excellent or praiseworthy?  These thought patterns are the pillars of a healthy mind.

How do I change my thoughts to reflect these things?

Watch your thoughts. Next time you’re in a funk of depression, or anytime really, there is no bad time to start, pay attention to what kind of thoughts are floating around in your head. Pay attention to how you react and ask yourself if the situation warranted your reaction. Be nice to yourself, this is not about judgement, this is about learning so you can heal. Taking a step in the right direction and taking back control over your thoughts and your life.