According to, one of the most common toxic behaviors is jealousy.

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Exodus 20:17

Merriam Webster defines “covet” as ” to desire (what belongs to another)” in other words, to be jealous of. Jealousy is toxic. It makes a person think and do toxic things.

Because you can’t be happy for someone if you’re jealous of who they are or what they have. You can’t be happy with yourself or what you have if you’re focused on what you don’t have.

Jealousy eats away at a person. It can destroy your finances, your self-esteem and drive a wedge between you and anyone you know. The more you allow jealousy to seep into your life, the more unhappy your life will be.   

How do you combat jealousy? Todays culture is very “this is just the way I am”, but more and more research is taking away the credibility of the idea that we are fixed beings with no real way to change. More and more research is validating the idea of neuroplasticity. You are in charge of your brain. You are in charge of your thoughts and you are in charge of your emotions. Even if you don’t want to be. 

In order to change, you must first accept and learn to recognise the feeling of jealousy in yourself. You must notice the jealous thoughts and make the conscious decision to not act on them. 

You can ask yourself, “is this really what I want for my life?” and if the answer is no, decide what you do want your life to look like. 

Redirect your focus. Instead of being jealous of your friend for her beautiful new car, admire her for the hard work she put into saving up for that new car. 

Turn your jealousy into drive. If someone elses life looks better to you than your own, maybe it’s time to make some changes to make your life better suited to your desires. 

Accept that everyone is different. No one is necessarily better than anyone else, everyone is simply on a different path and in a different place and that is OK. As long as you are able to make yourself happy with who you are and what you have, your life is successful. 

God Bless


Well Wishes For Good Health

So you’re sick over the holidays…Oh wait, just kidding, that’s me…but everyone get’s sick at some point and if you handle it anything like I do, well, hopefully you handle it in a more adult way, but my point here is that I don’t think any of us like being sick. Being sick sucks. Being sick is good practice though, being sick can give you an excellent opportunity to practice self love and self care.

#1 in the self love when you’re sick tool bag

Hot baths are AMAZING when you have a cold. My mother used to swear by them. “Boil them buggies out” she used to say. Epsom salt definitely aids in that respect. Some relaxing lavender and eucalyptice helps you relax while you sweat and will help you get to sleep which we all know is amazing for you when you have a cold.

The steam from the bath also opens up your sinuses and breaks up a lot of that congestion. Holding a warm compress over your congested sinuses helps break everything apart even better and as an added bonus, feels really nice too.

A bath will help you feel clean which when your body feels clean, you have a tendency to feel healthy.


Usually, I am against the TV at all costs, it has it’s time and place but when you are sick, that time and place is whenever you feel like it. Fall asleep to your favorite movie or binge watch a series all day if you want. One of the reasons I’m so against regular consumption of TV is that times like this, it should be a treat. That way when you’ve been bed ridden for a few days, you won’t get sick of the TV as quickly and it can pick up your mood and feel like you’re treating yourself. If you’re treating yourself with something special, it’ll take longer for you to get impatient with the healing process that your body needs to take.


Be patient, give yourself time. Nothing is so imortant that it can’t wait a couple days until your well. You need time to fight off the bugs that are making you sick, you need time to rest and time to get back to life. The more you rush, the more frustrating the process will be and the longer it will take. Patience is a good thing to learn anyway, it makes life so much more relaxed (says one of the most impatient people out there).

Hopefully your enjoying yourself more than I am right now, stay well friends, vitamin C and plenty of rest! I wish good health for you all coming into the new year, God Bless!

Perception, The Double Edged Sword

Why is it that some people would rather electrocute themselves than spend time with their own thoughts? What makes quiet contemplation so scary? The answer many of us would give is “I have anxiety”. 

We say it’s anxiety, we say it’s a disease because we don’t want to accept the responsibility that this is where we put ourselves. We have been gifted with the Holy Spirit, a direct connection to God for communication, but sometimes the Holy Spirit when it communicates, it says things that we don’t want to hear. So we ignore it, we ignore God talking to us. The more we ignore it the More urgent the message becomes we don’t like feeling that urgency so we continue to ignore it. This becomes a vicious cycle that leads into the pits of anxiety because we know what we need, we know what God is telling us about our lives and about our bodies about what we need to change but we don’t wanna hear it. We say it’s not our fault we say it’s a disease because we don’t wanna take responsibility for where we put ourselves. For the mindset we put ourselves in and for the advice from the divine that we have chosen to ignore.

Some of us have berried the truth so far down that finding it again requires more effort than we know how to give. No one chose this willingly, no one wants to be plagued by guilt and emotional pain without knowing where it came from, but it’s our responsibility to get out from under it. Pills mask the feeling, take away our responsibility to free ourselves from the cages we created in our minds.

Our minds are the one place that we can create and be anything that we want. The mind can’t tell the difference between reality and a thought so what we think about becomes our reality. Our culture is so wrapped up in negativity that our thoughts and our minds become scary monsters and boogie men and we don’t even realize that we have the power to create anything well! Perception is a powerful thing. A double edged sword that you are in total control of. 

Imperfection is Beauty

One thing that I notice a lot of people, if not most people struggle with, is body image. Who actually likes their body? Who even loves there body? How many people out there in the world today are actually comfortable in the skin they’re in, just as they are? I bet not a whole lot or the beauty industry wouldn’t be so popular. The makeup industry wouldn’t be so successful. Everywhere you look there are magazines of airbrushed “beautiful” people endorsing some kind of dieting system that they swear by.  These people distort our thinking that their air brushed, plastic surgury bodies look right and good and if we don’t look like them, we are wrong. We obsess over zits, over having the perfect hair, learning how to contour and spending hours in front of a mirror to paint our faces to make them look just right. We call the people who spend hours on their image beautiful. Let me tell you, it irritates me to know end because I see makeup as paint and anyone can look pretty with a painted on face. That’s not the real you. My tiraid is not against the makeup industry however, as much as I would like to tare that industry apart, but no. I am here to talk about loving yourself and setting intentions. when I wash my face at night, I tell myself “I’m doing this because I love my face and want it clean and healthy.” My achne has been all over the place these last few years. I dare say it’s been uncontrollable. I found no regimen could stand against my zit prone pores and that drove me nuts. I read articles and stressed and started birth control, EVERYTHING I could think of…did it work? Absolutely not. So I gave up. This is my face and I can’t change it so might as well accept it. As long as I am healthy, I shouldn’t stress about it. So I sat in front of the mirror and told myself I was ready to learn to love my healthy body in all of its zitty glory. I washed with an inexpensive soap that I’ve used in the past and a moisturizer that I liked. Before I washed my face I said “I’m going to wash my face to keep it clean and healthy” or something of the sort and set to the task. Saying to myself as I washed, “This is making my face clean and healthy”. I wish I took before and after pictures because the change in a month was amazing. I now have my clean and smooth face back! Sure, there is the occasional blemish but who doesn’t get those. I still love myself. This worked with eczema as well, “I want my skin clean and moisturized”. When I eat and drink, I am focusing on how it is nourishing my body and making it healthy and how healthy is beautiful. As long as I am healthy, I am ok.

Beautifully You

10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 1:10-11 ESV

Each one of us is unique. Each one of us is different. Each one of us is special. We know it in our minds but do our hearts know it as well? There are so may out there who project this confidence in themselves yet when an individual ends up knowing more about a topic, we feel threatened that they know more than we do. Often, we get agitated and irritated that we do not know more than this person about a topic that we really aren’t all that passionate about. This topic is not where we are gifted, yet still, we desire to seem to know more than we do. Why?”As each has received a gift,”

  • You have unique to you gifts

Everyone is gifted in some way, in something. You have unique to you strengths that your friend, mother, sister, brother, father, might not have. Your gift is meant to compliment not to compete. If we all where to stick to what we knew, be humble enough to learn what we don’t, and step aside when we are in over our heads, our world would look much different. Our world would run like a well oiled machine because we’re all honest with ourselves about what we want and what we know.

  • Someone else being better at something is not a bad thing

Just as you are unique, and have your own unique to you talents and gifts, so do those around you. Just as  that you have you have skills that those around you don’t have, those around you are going to have skills that you don’t. That’s ok. In fact that is a very wonderful thing. A very healthy thing for our society because if we all knew only the same thing, how would we learn and grow? The beauty of a sunset is totally different from the beauty of the first snow of the year, but one doesn’t take away from the other. Their differences make life all the more satisfying. My friend and I are both writers, but our styles are very different. She is more creative and descriptive and my writing is more factual. She is an amazing novelist and I am a poet. For years growing up in school together, I always thought my writing was no good because I didn’t write like her. I tried and I was terrible. Years later, she told me that she always wished she could write like I do and that hers is no good! Imagine that! now we use our differences to help and teach each other. Instead of being jealous of each other, we help each other create masterpieces.

  • Other people can’t make you look bad
One of the biggest things I hear where different gifts are concerned is something to the effect of "They're going to show me up" or "if I don't prove I can do what they do, it's going to make me look bad". Usually, though, the opposite is true. When someone does what they are good at, it's obvious that they're good at it right? It's clear that they know what they are doing. It's just as obvious when someone is pretending to know what they're talking about. We've all seen someone try to fake the masses and persuade people that they know what they're doing, when they clearly don't. Don't fall into that trap. Be honest about what you know and don't know, be honest about what you are good at and what you are not good at. Your honesty will open up opportunities to learn and grow new skills that can compliment your own. It will also give you the opportunity to shine and teach when you use your own unique to you gift! 

A Lesson In The Crucible

God allows to happen that which will help the most amount of people for the longest amount of time. I am beginning to see that play out in my life more and more as the years go by. When I was a child, I had to live with a terrible hurt. It was either fight to live or die starving. I had a problem with my digestive system and my doctor convinced everyone I had an eating disorder. Almost everyone but my parents believed him and told me that all of my suffering was on me. It was my fault and I’m the only one who can change that. That if I wanted it bad enough, I could eat and be healthy. These words broke my heart because I was dying and there was nothing in this world that I wanted more than to be able to eat again. To be able to play, to climb the stairs in my home without having to stop and rest halfway up. My soul shattered. Everything inside me broke, I had no will to live anymore. No will to try. Even after the hospital figured out the true issue, and fixed my insides, I was still broken.

Through time, honesty, and the unfailing support of an incredibly loving man who is now my husband, my soul was mended and I began to love life again. Though I didn’t love myself, I told myself I did. I told others that I did but truly I didn’t and I tried to prove that I did to others as a way of trying to prove it to myself. I still struggle. I fear that I am too thin. That I am weak and can’t do anything for myself, but I am changing that perception.

Ephesians 2:10 says ‘For we are God’s masterpieces, he created us anew in Jesus christ so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.’

Every one of us goes through a crucible in our lives. God uses them to create us anew, to show us what we are capable of. To make us strong and ignite passion in us to do what he calls us to do, to follow his plan for our lives. Two things happen when we face a crucible; we get stuck and never allow ourselves to walk out of it, to let go and allow it to change us or we rise from the challenge. We allow ourselves to be changed. To grow and become stronger than we believe ourselves to be able to be.

A crucible ignites a passion. Mine became helping people overcome psychiatric disorders like I faced. I was told that I would need mind numbing medication to function normally for the rest of my life. I’m sure there are countless numbers of people, lost and scared and alone who are being told the same thing.

I want to challenge the world to reach for more. To break the mold and take back their lives from whatever crucible they are stuck in. Reach for the other side and find your purpose and your passion. Figuring out how to get to the other side reveals so much about who you are and where your passion is and I want to see that in this world. Honesty, creativity, deep thought, and love are seriously lacking and I believe that is why we are so stuck in depression, in anxiety, in pain. The world needs to figure out how to heal, but so many people are so stuck in their pain that they can’t even fathom finding a way out because some doctor offers them a “Cure” in the form of a pill.

Overcome your crucible. Dare to find your passion and allow it to lead your life. Learn to love and except yourself again. Trust me, it leads to a much more satisfying existence.

Self care, how easy can it get?

I’ve been on the self care bandwagon for years now, ever since I heard the term in 2015. I’d always loved the idea of it, read everything I could on it, did everything in my power to become as much of an expert as I could on the topic of self care. Hoping. Praying that one day the actions would be as easy to do as they where to read on the page. But for years, easy and self care where just not even remotely on the same playing field. I struggled, and then put myself down for struggling. How hard is it to do something you enjoy? How hard is it to treat yourself? Apparently, it was extremely hard because I could never quite seem to grasp the concept.

Yesterday it clicked.

Small background, my husband recently switched to 3rd shift. He works 4pm- 4am and I work 6am to 2pm. Alone time was never something I enjoyed. Ever. My mom works 2nd shift and most of my friends are young moms, have their own hectic schedules or have moved and well life happens so for a while, with no family or friends to keep me company 24-7, I got depressed. And then I decided that I was better than that and beat the depression off with my journal and a pen.

That’s when the concept of self care finally made sense.

I was in the bathroom, I had just gotten out of the shower when I felt it…I wanted to do everything in my power to care for my body. It’s the only one I have after all and I want it to be strong and healthy for a long time to come. Because I’ve been practicing mindfulness, I watched this thought flow through and actively thought about it. What changed? What brought these thoughts to mind? I continued watching my thoughts and paying attention to my emotions and in a few short moments, I had my answer. I love myself. Really and truly I love myself. I want the best for myself and as long as that remains the truth, self care is a breeze. It’s second nature, I don’t even have to think about it because it’s what I actively want for myself!